Things

This may or may not turn into a huge blog entry. It has the potential to be big since I haven't done a lot of talking about what's been going on my life as of late. Most of you, however, know as much up to the point that you know that I am no longer working (the details of that I have discussed with two of you) and that I am looking for a place to live at the end of the month because my roommate is getting married and it makes more sense just to let her have the apartment because I will never be able to afford it, even if I get a job.

I have applied for several jobs. I did get an interview for one of them, the one at United Healthcare that most fit my work skills and quite frankly, I could not have imagined the interview going worse than it did. And we know I have an active imagination when it comes to worrying. It just started out bad and went downhill from there. I do not expect to get that job. I would be quite surprised if I did. As soon as I got home I burst in to tears.

The same day of the bad interview about 3 1/2 hours later after a settling trip to Oroville to see Ed. I need to tell you about Ed. That's actually a good story and the biggest blessing I've seen so far in this whole experience. Anyway, Ed calmed me down and we talked for a while then I headed back to Chico. When I got home I realized I hadn't eaten since 9 that morning and it was almost 4pm, so I went over to East Ave to go to the Carl's Jr to get a burger. I got into the left hand turn lane and was slowly creeping my way up to the Carl's Jr driveway and this guy appeared in front of me and hit my car literally head on though most of the damage did happen to the passenger side. I now think that is why the air bag didn't go off is because the passenger side was hit and when no one is sitting in the seat, my passenger side airbag is turned off. Anyway, I was able to drive my car off the road into the Hula's parking lot. I burst in to tears on impact. The police came and we both shared our stories and he determined that the other guy was more at fault. He had been given the right of way by the other drivers to pull out of the parking lot but he did not have the right of way beyond that and he admitted that he couldn't see. His gigantic GMC truck versus my little economy car. I called my insurance company and talked to them and as soon as the lady had just given me the number for the tow truck, my phone died. Great. All my numbers were in there. But amazingly enough I actually remembered Katie's cell phone number, so I called her and she came and called the tow truck for me and then called Josie (Josie and I were going to do dinner and then go to the Creche Festival). We wait for the tow truck and Josie and then it was just Josie and me waiting for the tow truck. They took it to the Toyota dealership and that is where my car is right now being dismantled and estimated to see if it's a total loss. Josie bought me dinner and we looked at the Creche which made me feel better. I sustained minor injuries. Both of my knees right on the knee caps are bruised from hitting the dash on impact. And there's some soreness all around. But otherwise I'm ok and I'm grateful for that.

I keep thinking of the prayer I said the night before based on a scripture I had read that night in 3 Nephi. I'm interested to see how this ties in to that. This wouldn't be the first time I've been blessed with a car accident. This would actually be car accident 3 for me. All of them not at fault. All of the no injury to minor injury. We'll see if all of them result in a total loss. Honestly right now I can't even decide how I want things to happen. I've run scenarios in my head several times. But unfortunately right now I have more questions than answers. This is literally forcing me to live one day at a time because right now I am completely incapable of anticipating the future. Living one day at a time is hard for me. But I know that I need to stay strong and faithful. This will work for my good. It just may take some time. This whole experience makes me think about how you can't really count on a whole lot of things. The only true constant in life is the gospel. Everything else can be there one minute and then gone the next. It's an interesting lesson thinking of the silly things that used to be so important, having no idea what was to come. I admit I'm a little at a loss of what to pray for other than a generalized, I hope this works out. I have no idea what is best for me. Haven't a clue. I have to leave this completely in Heavenly Father's hands because my mortal mind that does not see the whole picture is comprehending nothing. But as my mom has told for years. Things have a way of working out. And I just need to be patient to see that.