Ed

So, I'm writing this blog to help me feel better after watching this TV show about evil paranormal experiences because stuff like that freaks me out. I couldn't even finish watching the episode. I've never quite had a "paranormal" experience as shown on these shows but I have felt the forces of darkness aimed directly at me and it's something I'll never forget, so I try not to entertain or invite those things in my life. So I'm going to offset the feeling that this show gave me by talking about one of the amazing blessings I have received from this year. As I think I've mentioned before, 2008 has been one of the most difficult years I've experienced since the year I investigated the church. Job less/leaving being one of those difficult things. It's been interesting seeing how things have progressed since then but I'm not going to focus on that experience all together in this blog. I'm going to just focus on one particularly good blessing. In the two weeks that I had to prepare myself for D-Day (November 3rd, last day at Blue Shield), I started looking at one of my former employers as a place to return to, which was the hospital on Oroville. It was the first place I thought of and was about the only place I was counting on to obtain employment. I took several trips to Oroville to check up on the many applications for positions I applied for. Obviously I never got a job there. But my trips there were not in vain. While I was working for the hospital I met a social worker named Ed. Ed was in his 60s at the time (and this was like 7 or 8 years ago) and he served as my counselor for depression among other things. He was great and we clicked like you wouldn't believe. Sometimes talking to him was like talking to myself. I haven't met many people more kind or genuine. Anyway, one day while I was at the hospital checking up on an application, I wanted to see if Ed still worked there. I was figuring he had probably retired by this point but I decided to check anyway. To my great happiness, he was still there. This time, I only got to talk to him for a few minutes and he asked me to leave my name, phone number, and address and he would call me. I never heard from him so there was this one day I was wanting to finish this book on CD that Josie had given me when we were released from RS called "Your Divine Purpose" (amazing book, I highly recommend it, I need to listen to it again when I'm not driving so I can write down some really great quotes from it). Anyway, the trip to Oroville and back was going to be enough to finish the last disc in the set and I decided to make my turn-around point the hospital. Anyway, I drove to the hospital and I was feeling really good and I just randomly decided to stop and see if he was there, and he was. And we had a great reunion. This particular reunion is special and important because the last time Ed saw me about 6 1/2 years prior to this meeting, I was a complete trainwreck of a person. I'm not going to go into detail about it too much at this point, if ever but this time my countenance was so different and I was able to tell him how much better my life was and why. I told him about going back to church and the amazing experiences that I had with that and how happy I was, despite having gone through such a trying year and having lost my job. I was able to tell him that finally I was truly happy.

His response was very positive and he was very happy to see me and he told me that he felt blessed getting to see me and the change that had taken over me, even though I was still struggling. He acknowledged the hand of the Lord in that change and we both felt edified.

I have continued to see Ed once a week and he has stated that he will never charge me for the visits. It felt so amazing and great to have this experience and this opportunity to go back and show how much better things are and to be able to tesify of why.

The gospel truly has changed my life. Yes, I still struggle with a lot of things. A LOT of things. Even if there was no other gospel principle that I was ever able to grasp, seeing the change in my life that has come over the course of the last going on 3 years, would be enough to hold my testimony of the truth of it all for the rest of my life. There is so much more experience and power behind things now. For me to deny any of it, I would have to deny every blessing, every experience, every revelation, everything and I just can't do that. Even when things were sucky this year, I never once went back on my knowledge that the church was true. I questioned several other things but never that.

In the last blessing I received I was told to look back on my life and see where I've been and how far I have come. So I've been trying to do that.

I can go so much farther with this train of thought but I'm going to leave it at this right now.